


The Confidence Man

by orphan_account



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Criminals, And bad aliases since I'm not creative, Attempt at Humor, Banter, Comedy, Con Artists, Crack Treated Seriously, Explicit Language, Gen, I'm Bad At Tagging, It's gonna be a diaster, Out of Character, Prepare yourself for some exaggerations, The summary makes it seem like it's serious but trust me, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, but for the plot, disguises, since theyre conmen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:19:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23778271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Welcome to the world of credit fraud, where your only goal is to swipe from the rich, the gullible, the evil, and the powerful.Here’s the catch.Don’t trust anyone, no matter what.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	The Confidence Man

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, and welcome to The Confidence Man! Don't trust the summary, this is not going to angsty at all, and if anything, it's mostly filled with humour. Think of it as my book to let off steam, I guess? It's kind of an escape route to not work on my other book oops-
> 
> aka, this is gonna have really sporadic updates because I cannot fathom with the concept of time and schedules
> 
> This is HEAVILY inspired by the Japanese drama 'The ConfidenceMan JP' starring Nagasawa Masami, Higashide Masahiro, and Kohinata Fumiyo! Please watch the drama, it's a personal favourite :) Various scenes from this book will be inspired and based from the drama! 
> 
> So if you've seen it, I hope it's understandable that this is gonna be chaotic, but it'll still have a plot. Or maybe you already got that from my mess of a tagging system, can't be so sure.
> 
> Just a little note before we get started!
> 
> Many of the character personalities are exaggerated ON PURPOSE. They are criminals who always have to have a fake facade at all times, and they can't let their guard down even around their comrades. I am fully aware that characters like Oikawa and Kuroo are not as dumb as they may be portrayed in here. Their "real" personalities in canon are for possible scenes when they're alone and/or planning a heist. But when they're with other people, the mask goes on. Thank you for understanding! :)

**< < THE RICH >>**

_“I like large parties._

_They’re so intimate._

_At small parties there isn’t any privacy.”_

\- F. Scott Fitzgerald (The Great Gatsby)

The club is dark, and the man can feel the pulsing beat of the speakers as he dances on the stage. A spotlight flashes right when he strikes a pose, and he lets out a cheer, relishing the moment as the audience roars back their delight. 

_This is his life_ , Terushima grins, _and he’s going to live like this forever._

\---

“IWA-CHAN.” There’s no mistaking the shrill voice as the brunet hurls himself at the other man, who doesn’t even flinch at the incoming weight. Instead, he throws the former off of him with practiced ease, not even seeming guilty when his victim lands on the expensive carpet with a pained grunt. 

On the side, a silver-haired male watches with thinly veiled amusement as he sips his afternoon tea, and a butler stares impassively beside him.

These people (not including the butler) were con men. Professional criminals with years of practice of swindling, gaining powerful people’s trust before leaving them in bankruptcy or short a couple hundred thousands of dollars. They themselves didn’t trust anyone, not even each other, and didn’t even know their comrades’ real names. 

To them, they were Toorun, Suga, and Iwa. That was enough. 

And they were Tokyo's finest Con Artists. 

“Toorun,” Suga placantly smiles, placing his teacup back onto his plate, “why did you gather us here today? Surely you know I’ve got plans.”

The brunet snorts, rolling onto his stomach so he can prop himself onto his elbow as he stares back, “well, dearest Suga, I’ve decided our next catch! He’s quite a big one too. All young and naive, the perfect target. And a bucket load of fun too, which is always a plus.”

At this, Iwa rolls his eyes. “I’m not doing it. I’ve told you this before, I’m cleaning myself from this criminal world and I am going to live a normal life. Don’t call me again, Toorun. And Suga, you should do that too. Stop associating yourself with this mess of person,” he waves in Toorun’s direction, who in turn gasps in offence, “and become a better person.” 

Without even waiting for a reply, Iwa turns and begins to walk towards the exit. 

“Ah. Iwa, before you go, pick up your share from the last job.” Suga hums, and the other freezes, before turning back on his heel and towards the couch. He swipes three stacks of 100 dollar bills from the mountain pile before heading back towards the door and deliberately ignores Toorun, who is now guarding the exit with crossed arms and a pout.

“Iwa-chan, you would never leave me alone!”

In an action that clearly says ‘watch me’, Toorun is pushed out the way again. 

“I’m serious! Don’t you dare contact me, Toorun! I’m not going to come back!” And just like that, Iwa is out the door. From his position on the floor, Toorun lets out a snicker.

“That’s your one hundred and thirty second time you’ve said that!”

\---

Iwa still can’t believe that he’s been talked into doing this again. He’s seated on the plush couch that had previously been covered with money, an enormous snack tray in front of him, and is now staring at a giant poster of a dude with bleached hair and a tongue ring. Right beside it is Toorun’s giant cork board, where there are hundreds of multi-coloured sticky notes with all sorts of character traits written on them.

In front of him and with a pointer stick, Toorun beams. “I knew you would come around, Iwa-chan! I’m just so irresistible.”

“Get on with it, you piece of trash. I’m doing this for Suga, since he needs the money to pay for his nephew’s hospital costs.”

From beside him, Suga patronizingly hums. “Come on now, let’s not fight when we’ve got a job to do. Who’s the boy, Toorun?”

“Target name: Terushima Yuuji. Job occupation: self-entitled brat and party animal who was born with a silver shovel in his mouth. We’re aiming for a total of 300k, 400k if we’re pushing it,” Toorun lists, before he’s grinning. “How should we reel him in? He’s a party fanatic, we could probably get a lot through gambling and the club scene. Oooh! Iwa-chan, you should be an escort! You’ll be named Kaito, and have the brightest personality with the tendency to be the resident gossip, and--”

“No. I may put up with you a lot, but there is absolutely no way that I am going to do that.”

Suga twists his mouth, crossing his arms as he stares at the poster. “As much as I would kill to see Iwa act like you, Toorun, we can’t do gambling. No idiot’s gonna bet more than 100k at once, even if they’re the son of a billionaire. And we can’t do it more than once or it’ll be a definite bust. Besides,” he scrunches his nose, “why’re we going after the son, anyway? The parents are the ones making the major buck, right?”

Toorun tsks. “It’s because the parents are stingy, and wouldn’t give us a dollar even at gunpoint. The son has dappled in bartending, and is super competitive too. So we could send in our resident mixologist Kaito-chan to go against him in a bartending competition, and--”

Iwa throws a piece of salami from the snack tray at Toorun, seeming satisfied when it hits him in the nose. “Why’s the occupation a mixologist now? And I’m not doing that either.”

“Even though Suga-chan’s poor nephew is in the hospital? So cruel, Iwa-chan. So cruel.”

Suga’s clearly done with the conversation if the way he rubs his temple is anything to go by. “My nephew is not the focus at the moment. Toorun, send in your Sprouts for a bit longer, ok? We need more information about this kid.”

Iwa sighs. “I can’t believe people actually like you enough to not be offended when you call them your _Sprouts_.” Toorun huffs in response, and dramatically points the pointer stick at Iwa. 

“Excuse you. I don’t force anyone to do anything. I pay trustworthy, normal people, who have normal jobs, and they simply just follow our target everywhere and write down everything about them. If you didn’t know, Iwa-chan, it’s because of my lovely and diligent Sprouts that all of our heists have worked in the past. They get a good buck out of it too, and it's all a fair trade.”

Suga snorts. “Seems unbelievable. You sure you’re not hiding more criminal activity in your hair?”

“Suga-chan, I do appreciate you and your hard work, _but you better take that back_.”

\---

Three weeks later, Iwa finds himself back on the same couch, with a different (but still enormous) snack tray in front of him. Toorun is back in front with the poster of Terushima Yuuji and his corkboard beside him, only with eight times more sticky notes. 

“I hope you’re satisfied now. We’ve got a lot more information about Yuuji-chan here!” Tooru emphasizes this by using the pointer stick to dramatically highlight a neon blue sticky-note. Iwa leans forward to read it, ‘ _Terushima-san is extraordinarily picky when it comes to the number of garnishes on his drink_ ’

Iwa frowns, but is interrupted by Suga before he can give his thoughts.

“That’s good. What’s the plan?”

The smile that spreads across Toorun’s face is nothing short of terrifying.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Kudos are very appreciated, they make my day! :)


End file.
